Confusion

So right now my life is crazy confusing and to be honest, I'm not sure that i know exactly where i stand or where I'm going. After Up with people i was left feeling like my life would never be as exciting and adventurous ever again. Now a few months after i don't know if i feel that way anymore. I feel like there may be an exciting future laying somewhere ahead of me. I'll just have to work hard for it and really seek it out.
I want so much to keep traveling and exploring the world and meeting other people. i miss just meeting random people on a daily basis and staying in there houses and really getting to know them, while prying my way into their hearts. It's an incredible feeling. i miss traveling on the road with my Irish big sister Aoife and knowing that even thought she said harsh things that almost made me cry she only said them because she loved me and wants to make me a better person. i miss being able to go to here everyday and tell her my problems. I miss not knowing where i am and not knowing what day of the week it is, because nothing is ever routine. it's so hard because sometime I feel like God gave me the perfect life. the life I've always dreamed of. A life on the road where I was free. Free to make mistakes and be care free. Free to learn without fear. it was awesome!
now I'm just dealing with crazy things that keep me feeling limited to what exactly my life is and can be. i can't drive yet, so i feel so trapped. It's crazy!
even though I can't drive I find ways to get around, but it takes a long time. I've been trying to learn. i have my permit and my dad has only had enough time to take me driving twice. it kinda sucks.Anyhow, i feel like I'm just complaining. I know that I'm extremely lucky and everyone has problems in life. i am pretty content on a daily basis. I like the classes i take and I actually like my job...well apart from my evil manager who hates me. Oh well. You can't please everyone.

I love my new theater teacher Stacy. I honestly think we could be friends for life. she so kool and she's really cute. i can't wait to audition for the play at school next semester. i really feel like my acting career is an actual tangible goal. Crazy eh?


The days are gone
They're only memories
Only a constant breeze
That sweeps through my mind
From time to time
Only a distant whisper
How to get them back
Is a mystery
Those days are what I lack
They're gone with the tides in the sea